So fake cool image should be over
So lately I've been having a kind of identity issue--a sexual identity issue. No, I don't mean cross-dressing or transgender. Some days I feel like guys. Other days I feel like women. Most days (the vast majority apparently) I feel like going off to a monastery. The confusion is murder.
But for a while this morning, I achieved a piece of clarity that comes only once in a rare while. This song (click the link) says it all. It becomes more than just about getting my rocks off.
But for a while this morning, I achieved a piece of clarity that comes only once in a rare while. This song (click the link) says it all. It becomes more than just about getting my rocks off.
posted by xanadian at 9:19 AM
2 Comments:
I've been thinking more about what I want, relationshipwise.
I have too much baggage to get into a long-term relationship with anyone. It is unfair to them. So I'll stick to flings for now I guess. And with whom would I have these flings? Right now I'm thinking guys, because I'm less likely to get attached to a guy, emotionally. I fear that if I find a woman, I might suddenly want more than just a one-night stand. Again, it's not fair to the person.
I was told by someone very close to me that she couldn't wait for me to figure out what I want. Well, I know what I want. It just seems to be at odds with what the rest of the world expects of me. A wise man once said, "to thine own self be true." So I say to the rest of the world, "go f*** yourself," and I shall follow what I know I want.
Of course, now that I've said all that, you wait. I'll find a guy and get emotionally attached to him (like I did with one guy several years ago). Won't that be ironic.
PS. If it seems like I waver a bit on my decisions, it is because I am always re-evaluating myself. If you're static, you don't grow; and if you don't grow, you die.
Post a Comment
<< Home