Caution: Venting Ahead

I have never been so sick and tired in my whole life. I have a college degree, three-plus years as a Naval officer, over four years of (sproadic, unfortunately) experience in the IT industry, an IQ (allegedly) of 144...

...and all I'm good for is scrubbing toilets and sweeping floors. WHAT THE FUCK?! I am tired of having no money. I am tired of feeling shit on. I am tired of my shrink telling me things will get better, while not giving me any really useful information. I am tired of not knowing what to do about my situation (other than all the things I've tried already). I am so tired of being the giver. I want what's MINE, and I want it NOW! Gimme!! Money? Gimme. Dignity? Gimme. A sense of purpose and fulfillment? GIMME!!

Oh, and what really gets me are the looks I get when someone hears I'm on General Assistance (rent assistance, for which I have to do all the toilet-scrubbing to pay it off). What the fuck you looking at, asshole? This could be YOU doing this someday. And may you live in interesting fucking times, just like me.

Man, I am *this close* to blowing my top at someone. Hopefully I don't end up in jail when it happens. I am not a violent person, but all this crap is building up within me; and me being the nice little doormat that I am, am trying to suppress it so I don't come off as being whiny or something (not like this post doesn't do that job for me).

Well, the time has come to look for jobs, and follow up on applications. My job follow-ups will be by email only, because I'm afraid that right now, if I were to talk on the telephone, I'd come off as a real prick.

For the rest of you out there: don't take any shit from anyone. Everyone deserves so much more.

Pissed...

Off!